Social Status

So today in sunday school, we were talking about the talents that we each have.... We were discussing how I was musical, and I added that I also had pretty good social skills. The day before, I was at a choir performance and was demonstrating how horribly I can sing in falsetto. One stranger turned to me and said, "No offense, but I thought there was a handicapped person back there." I was also able to convince two others that they were colorblind. (For those of you who are wondering, it took some crafty improv from some of my other friends as well.) I also performed a stunning version of Stars I Shall Find in interpretive dance. I consider all of these as rousing examples of how social I can be. Later that day in church, I was walking with one of the people in my class. When we saw others in the class, we walked over. I decided that would be a good time to demonstrate my falsetto ugliness again... The other person turned to me and said, "Yes, you have miraculous social skills. Walking up to people and making goat noises sure helps you make lots of friends." For the friendless out there, you should really try imitating goats and creeky doors. You're welcome,

Email Exchange

If anyone has seen the It Just Gets Stranger  blog, you know how hilarious it can be. So I decided to send the following email to the owner, Eli McCann:

Greetings from a closet! I read on your website that you would listen to my secrets, so here it goes. I secretly enjoy sleeping in large pots. When I'm not surfing on your website, I enjoy surfing on the ceiling. Sometimes I pretend I'm a walrus floating on ice in the Caspian Sea. It would be awful lonely there. I know your feelings towards O2. I had a pet tomato plant named mater. When he tragically froze, we had him cremated and his ashes were spread through his homeland. I have a nasty habit of throwing toothpaste at old people. My falsetto voice is named Gloria. Those are all of my deepest secrets.
   It seems to me that you have not been your normal self on your posts lately. There are probably many causes, but my best guess is it is because of the tsunamis in slovakia. Just hang in there buddy. I sink into the same slovakian depression every year around this time. I have found that coloring pictures can help resolve this issue. So I found my 48 box of crayons and drew this just for you:

I hope you thoroughly enjoy it. I have found coloring solves all of my problems, and hope to see you turning to it more often as well.

Sincerely,
Wesley(or whatever other fake name you like)

PS. I feel like there should always be a ps, so frogs.


And three days later, I got this response:

Dear Wesley,

The attached image has brought me nothing but great joy and magic. I will forever retain it. Until I forget my password to this email account, that is.

Eli

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.